How do we instil it in children?
The traits of generosity and empathy in children are valued by all members of society and children can even begin to show empathy from the age of two years old. What we know is true of children who develop these traits, is that they have had positive role models who help them to feel what empathy and generosity is, through adult's responsiveness and behavious towards them. Children, like adults enjoy the good feelings that occur when helping others and making them feel happy. It is proven that altruism has great benefits for our mental health too.
Given that so many agree that the personality traits of generosity and empathy are so important and valued by society, we surely need to ensure that it is part of children's education for living a good life. In Montessori education, learning about and practising generosity and empathy fall into the learning area of grace and courtesy within practical life. In general terms, grace and courtesy lessons help children to know the accepted way to move and act in their culture. It is usually explicitly moelled within the Montessori environment through adults and by other children. It is often the older children in the group who are the models of behaviour, although children can begin to model behaviours at any point throughout the 3-6 year cycle.
What sort of lessons might be created to help children to learn to be generous and empathetic toward others? The answer is that it is indirectly embedded into so many lessons we do. When we learn how to carefully unroll work mats on the floor, we are doing it this way to respect the concentration and work of the child who is nearby.
The card activity that your peer has carefully laid out on the mat beside you won't cope with a breezy mat unfurling, nor a flick of an edge across their work. So the child's actions in unrolling the mat are considering their friend's effort and work, this is empathy.
When you bring flowers for the chidren to arrange, do you often wonder what the flowers are really for? The child who chooses flower arranging activity often does so to beautify the environment and to create a space that is pleasing for all. Thy can extend this generosity by carrying out a further grace and courtesy lesson by asking a friend if they would like a vase of flowers on their work table. The child must exercise empathy to know the right moment to interrupt their friends' work and they then exercise generosity by giving the gift of a vase of flowers for their friends' enjoyment.
These are just two examples of empathy and generosity embedded into the Montessori learning environment. Children exercise empathy and generosity constantly as the invitation at the end of any lesson is that 'you may practice this whenever you like', to encourage the idea that this is to be repeated and it's something that's a good thing to do here.
The children's economy is not money, but to gift what they have - their drawings, their words, their joyfulness, and their attempts at writing. The dandelion from the garden weeds is as loving as the feather they find from a bird. Generosity and empathy in the children at Lindfield Montessori is certainly developing well and it is a team effort from the modelling of their homes and families to the encouragement and prepared environment to practice in at Lindfield Montessori.
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